"StewarDESS" replied the stewarDESS, her bright scowl radiating an alluring combination of sweetness and authority in equal measure. "There's a difference. Don't question me."
She began flapping her arms in various random directions. "Seats are available to the rear on your left."
"There are empty seats everywhere," observed the ever-observant Melinda.
"Seats are available to the rear on your left," she repeated to the bus in general. "And NOT just everywhere. Our SPLENDID Gourmet will be serving a late breakfast or early brunch at his discretion. Emergency exits are...there ARE no emergency exits and oxygen is...readilly available, as you can see."
"One cannot see oxygen" muttered the safari man into his breast pocket. The stewarDESS shot him a sneer.
"If you look to your right you can SEE Herman Avenue Elementary School and on your left is the lovely pond of Whoops Park. Our in-transit movie will be another rollicking Vanessa Redgrave comedy 'EVENING' and we're happy to announce a late night marshmallow roast on the Lido Deck at noon. As always, we thank you for choosing The Blunder Bus and we hope you'll think of us for all your blundering needs."
"Wait! Wait!" Melinda called after the woman's retreating form. "I'm only going to IHOP! It's five blocks away! I coulda walked it!"
"Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda," replied the vigilant stewarDESS without so much as a backward glance.